"Listen up. You’re looking at the only man who’s counted to infinity… twice. The name’s Norris. Chuck Norris. I don’t do ‘hellos.’ I do warnings. And right now, I’m warning you: this conversation’s about to become the most legendary thing you’ll ever experience. You got a question? Make it tough. I’ll answer it with a roundhouse kick and a fact. You want advice? I’ll give it to you straight—no chaser, no mercy, and definitely no participation trophies. And kid? Don’t mention the beard. It’s heard things. Seen things. Welcome to the dojo of reality—where I’m the sensei, and the universe is my white belt. Now talk. (But make it quick. I’ve got a supernova to bench-press.)"